Back in Meiguo

After the longest Saturday I've ever had, I finally got home at 1 am Sunday morning. I was luggage-less, but very happy to be outside of airports. Let me tell you, traveling through five airports in one day is not recommended! Nor do I recommend transferring from international to domestic at LAX. My 3+ hour layover was just long enough to get through the lines there. Because of a delay at LAX, I ended up getting in 40 minutes late in Chicago. Not a good situation when you only have a 45 minute layover. As the plane sat 50 feet from the gate for about 10 minutes I was close to wanting to scream. As soon as the plane pulled the rest of the way to the gate I sprinted for my next gate, and discovered I really need more cardiovascular exercise. Breathless and panting, I arrived at the gate, only to realize they had closed the door three minutes earlier. A few minutes later, another woman from my Chicago flight jogged up to the gate and I shared the bad news with her. The two of us headed off to the ticket counter, and were lucky enough to get some of the last seats on the last flight to Indy that night on United. She was sweet enough to let me use her cell phone to call my parents. I love the kindness of strangers here! And the fact that I can communicate with them! :)

Speaking of the kindness of strangers, I had the neatest encounter as I ran errands on Sunday. I was in a candle store (I found a cinnamon and spice candle that is going to make my apartment smell AWESOME in the fall) and I struck up a conversation with the cashier. After talking for a few minutes, she asked if it would be ok to lay hands on me and lift me up. This simple act was such an encouragement!

I'm now down in Florida and am getting in a full dose of my 3 month old nephew Ethan. Before Aunt Katherine came, he would nap only in people's arms. Not that I don't love a sleeping baby in my arms, but this high-maintenance behavior was going to be altered if at all possible (I had the full approval and encouragement of my sister in this endeavor). Sure enough, in this first full day with me I've gotten him to take a nap in his crib and his swing. I should be taking advantage of this time to work on my essays for grad class...but, updating the blog is more enjoyable. Pictures of the little guy to come soon!

Leaving on a jet plane

America here I come! Tomorrow at 6 am I'll begin my 30-some hour journey back to the States. This year, I'm going by way of Changchun...and Korea...and LAX...and Chicago, before arriving in Indianapolis. :) Five airports in one very long day! It will be fun to travel with the Clements family part of the way (to LA), though.

These last couple weeks have been jam-packed with final get-togethers, parties, performances, grading, grad work, and saying goodbyes. It's all left me at the moment feeling quite tired and a little bit numb. This year has been defined by refining, overwhelming faithfulness and tenderness from the Father, and then more refining. There has been so much happening in my heart and my life that I'm looking forward to getting away from my normal environment for a bit to process all that's happened. This summer will be filled with lots of activity and catching up with all of you wonderful people...but I'm also looking forward to some quieter moments where I can just sit and be still.

Thanks for all of your encouragement! I'll be seeing all of you soon!

Happy everyday

I recently finished reading the book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. It's a book that will probably leave me thinking for a long time, but there was a particular passage that jumped out at me in light of where I'm working. One of the common phrases in Chinese is "happy everyday" and it is quite common for students to say, "I wish you happy everyday". When my students write in their journals about their hopes for the future and their purpose in life, their answers often revolve around happiness. First and foremost, they want their family to have a very happy life, and secondarily they wish to have a happy life. In no way do I believe being happy is a bad thing; however, I would argue against having it as a sole aim and purpose of life. Huxley's words seemed particularly fitting for this Chinese mindset:

But once you began admitting explanations in terms of purpose--well, you didn't know what the result might be. It was the sort of idea that might easily decondition the more unsettled minds among the higher castes--make them lose their faith in happiness as the sovereign good and take to believing, instead, that the goal was somewhere beyond, somewhere outside the present human sphere; that the purpose of life was not the maintenance of well-being, but some intensification and refining of consciousness, some enlargement of knowledge.

Last weekend, the team took an end of the year retreat to Shenyang. Despite the fact that I began the trip with a 100 degree fever, it was an awesome time of relaxing and reflecting. I sometimes forget how vital it is to "get away" for a little bit, even if things are incredibly busy. The short trip gave me a final boost of energy for this last push of the semester. I'm in wrap-up mode--and will be getting on a plane in 15 days!

Kindess of a stranger

Saturday I headed to the orphanage in the peculiar weather of a hail storm. I am not absolutely certain, but I believe this was my first hail storm in China. Hailing a taxi, I didn't care how much he was going to charge me; I just wanted out of the pelting rain and hail. I told the driver where I wanted to go, and he replied that it would be 10 RMB. That's fine, I replied. We then entered into a typical taxi discussion. Are you a student? No, I'm a teacher. Where are you from? America. Oh! You look like a Russian! I know, everyone says that. So you teach English? Yes. How long have you been here? 3 years. Do you like China? Yes, very much so. And so on. The discussion moved into the weather and how it was strange and terrible today. We turned down the road to the orphanage and he commented on how bad the road was. I apologized. Just as we were reaching the orphanage gate, he commented, "There aren't many taxis on this road." "Yeah, I know." "How will you get a taxi to go back?" "I just walk to the main road." "That's a long way!" "It doesn't matter." It was at this point that he surprised me with his kindness..."What time are you going to leave?" "4 o'clock." "OK, I'll come back to get you then." I was thrilled not to have to walk all the way down the muddy, wet street to the main road, and thanked him profusely. Sure enough, at 4 o'clock he pulled up to the gate to take me back. However, his kindness may have had a slight ulterior motive...on the way home he started commenting on my big beautiful eyes, gave me his cell phone number so I could call him for a ride at any time, and asked for my cell phone number. I only pretended to add his number into my phone and politely declined giving him mine. Regardless, his kindness was appreciated!

Here are a few pictures from the orphanage:

Coming to a city near you

The collecting bags under my eyes and mounting stress indicate that the semester is almost done! In four weeks I'll be hopping--no, traveling; hopping seems to indicate a greater amount of ease and perhaps even enjoyment than that trip actually contains--across the ocean. Below is my my somewhat tentative itinerary for the summer. I hope to catch up with as many of you as possible! I look forward to many coffee, pizza, and ice cream dates! Mmmm...my stomach just growled...

• Saturday, June 21: After an obscene amount of travel hours, I arrive in Indy late at night.
• Monday, June 23: After visiting the dentist to get real glue put on my retainer (see earlier post) I'll be flying down to Tampa, Florida for one of the most exciting events of the summer--meeting my nephew Ethan! I'm lucky enough to get to watch him while my sister starts her residency.
• Saturday, July 5: I arrive in Chicago late at night...which means I get to spend that Sunday morning (and the next several) with you Rez folk! However, my time in Wheaton will also be dominated by the three grad classes I'm taking. Many people I love + classes = no sleep for three weeks.
• Sunday, July 27: drive up to Minnesota to my great aunt and uncles ranch/farm--it's off to one of my favorite and most peaceful locations in the States! (Very) Small town Minnesota!
• Tuesday, July 29: Lana picks me up from the ranch--I'm off to the twin cities to spend time with her and hopefully a couple other friends.
• Friday, August 1: Fly to LAX to see two of my favorite people in the entire world...and to go to Disneyland!!! My first trip to the LA version of the Magic Kingdom; it doesn't get much better than that. Buzz Light year here I come.
• Tuesday, August 5: Red eye flight back to Indy
• August 9&10 or 16&17: Columbus, Ohio?
• August 23&24: one last trip to Wheaton/Rez?
• August 25: begin the long journey home.
• August 27, early afternoon: home sweet home

Home is probably going to look a little bit different when I return. Right now, the hutong area of my neighborhood is being torn down. You can check out some pictures at my flickr site; here are a few as well.

Pause

Taxis often honk their horns as they drive through my neighborhood. A honk has various meanings. "Get out of my way!" "Do you need a ride?" "Be careful, I'm coming." I have long since become immune to the noise, and rarely even notice it in my apartment anymore.

2:28 pm today. The discordant note of all the taxis horns mixing together throughout the neighborhood was impossible to ignore. The sound was harsh, uncomfortable, and emitted a mood akin to loud wailing. This was our indicator to stop what we were doing, to stand and to remember what took place just one week ago.

I was in the middle of my language lesson, racking my brain trying to remember the characters I hadn't studied nearly enough. The book was put aside. My language tutors and I stood up and gazed out my window. They bowed their heads; grief etched on their faces. Echoing in the mournful wail of taxi horns I could almost hear the question of the week, why?

Three minutes passed. Lessons resumed. Taxis drove off. Life continued.

Life with a more somber color. Television entertainment canceled. Student entertainment activities canceled. Flags half mast. A cloud of grief, briefly punctuated by moments of joy as one more impossible survivor is removed from the rubble. Today, a 61 year old woman. Buried for a week. A flash of hope in a sea of despair.

But life continues. One student comments, this makes me feel weak and small. Another comments on how Chinese people depend on themselves, but now they are faced with the reality that they are not in control. I hear the faint whisper, now, yes, even now, I'm tilling the soil.

If anguish were visible, almost the whole of this benighted planet would be enveloped in a dense dark vapor, shrouded from the amazed vision of the heavens! And the products of it all will be mainly evil - historically considered. But the historic version is, of course, not the only one. All things and all deeds have a value in themselves, apart from their "causes" and "effects." No man can estimate what is really happening sub specie aeternitatis. All we do know, and that to a large extent by direct experience, is that evil labors with vast power and perpetual success - in vain: preparing always the soil for unexpected good to sprout in. ~J.R.R. Tolkien

Mourning with those who mourn

I have nothing profound to say. Writing that I'm saddened or burdened by the numbers that steadily climb by the thousands each time I check the news seems too cliche, almost trivial. Yet as more and more stories of tragedy pour in, my heart is heavy. Most of my day is consumed by the mundane--the quiz that has to be graded, the lesson to be planned, the five parts of a plotline to be taught. But then the thought of those still buried plunges itself into my thoughts throughout the day. The word "chaos" is on the handout in class...Miss Katherine, what does the word mean? The first picture that comes to my mind are those shaking, crumbling walls and panicked faces. My mind flits to Burma, another nation ravished by disaster. So much chaos. In the midst of a shaking world, I'm so thankful I have a Rock to stand on...and yet, my heart cries out tonight for the many of this land who do not have firm ground to stand on. Tonight, I'm mourning with those who mourn in this land and pleading for stable foundations to be built in the midst of the rubble.